Separate people from the problemIt's pretty easy to entangle the problem and the negotiator; thus, it is important to keep in mind that the negotiator is a human being with emotions and is not the problem, but the one who will help to solve the real problem.
* Negotiators are people first.
* Every negotiator has two kinds of interests: in the substance and in the relationship.
o The relationship tends to become entangled with the problem.
o Position Bargaining puts relationship and substance in conflict.
* Separate relationship from the substance; deal directly with the people problem.
+ Put yourself in their shoes.
+ Don't deduce their intentions from your fear.
+ Don't blame them for your problem.
+ Discuss each other's perceptions.
+ Look for opportunities to act inconsistently with their perception.
+ Give them a stake in the outcome by making sure they participate in the process.
+ Face saving: make your proposals consistent with their values.
+ First recognize and understand emotions, theirs and yours.
+ Make emotions explicit and acknowledge them as legitimate.
+ Allow the other side to let off steam.
+ Don't react to emotional outbursts.
+ Use symbolic gestures.
+ Listen actively and acknowledge what is being said.
+ Speak to be understood.
+ Speak about yourself, not about them.
+ Speak for a purpose.
* Prevention works best.
o Build a working relationship.
o Face the problem, not the people.
Focus on interests, not positionsInterests are the objectives of a negotiation. Each negotiator must seek to fulfill his interests and needs, there is no point in trying to change the other side's position.
* For a wise solution reconcile interests, not positions.
o Interests define the problem.
* Behind opposed positions lie shared and compatible interests, as well as conflicting ones.
* How do you identify interests?
o Ask "Why?" Ask "Why not?" Think about their choice.
o Realize that each side has multiple interests.
+ Identify shared interests and focus on mutual options for gain.
o The most powerful interests are basic human needs:
+ Security (economic well being),
+ Guidance (a sense of belonging),
+ Wisdom (recognition),
+ Power (control over one's life)
* Talking about interests
o Make your interests come alive.
o Acknowledge their interests as part of the problem.
o Put the problem before your answer.
o Look forward not back.
o Be concrete but flexible.
o Be hard on the problem, soft on the people.
Invent options for mutual gainA good behavior in negotiation : creative & open-minded. the negotiator should seek to invent new options that might satisfy both parties' needs. It is also wise to take the other side's needs in account when making new proposals.
* Don't assume there is a fixed pie and only one answer.
* Don't think solving their problem is their problem, help them.
* Separate inventing from deciding: brainstorming process.
* Broaden your options.
* Look through the eyes of different experts.
* Invent agreement of different strengths.
* Identify shared interests.
* Ask for their preferences.
* Make their decision easy.
Insist on using objective criteria* Principled negotiation produces wise agreements amicably and efficiently.
* Use fair standards, fair procedures.
* Never yield to pressure.
* Use a 3rd party as referee.
* Consider the one text procedure. Create one solutions based text that both parties can try to amend and agree upon together.
Getting to YES: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In is a best-selling 1981 non-fiction book by Roger Fisher and William L. Ury. Reissued in 1991 with additional authorship credit to Bruce Patton, the book made appearances for years on Business Week's "Best Seller" list. The book suggests a method called "principled negotiation or negotiation of merits."